theloldog: (Default)
[personal profile] theloldog
I am a dog with many names.  It would be very difficult for me to write my full name because it is so very long.  It would also be difficult for me to write my full name because I can not hold a pen, but that is beside the point.  I am trying to give you an idea of the magnitude of my name.  I think it will be easier to get my point across with another list.  I call this list, "Names I have been called."

  • Badger
  • Badge
  • Budge
  • Budgie
  • Bargearse
  • Woogie
  • Boo
  • Puplet
  • Doglet
  • Doggle
  • Wooglet
  • Sausage
  • Tetrapod
  • Teeth'n'Claws
  • Goat
  • Batty
  • Little Dog
  • Funny Little Dog
  • Mad Little Dog
  • You Little Sod
  • Mad Bugger
  • This Is Why I Can't Have Nice Things
  • Aaaaaaaaargh!
I have not been called Nemo, but once a Nemo was called me.  This may or may not be because there is something of a resemblance...

Yesterday my human discovered that the solution to a mad little dog barking for no good reason at a bench or shelf is not, in fact, to put the dog on that bench or shelf to work out what he is barking at.  I demonstrated that the mad little dog will actually jump straight off the bench or shelf, regardless of its height or the danger to himself of jumping.

Soon enough the human will resign herself to the fact that I am barking at absolutely nothing.  She has tried taking everything off the shelf.  She has tried introducing me to the things on the shelf.  She has tried introducing me to the shelf itself.  None of these things have stopped me from barking in the general direction of the shelf.  

My plan for today is to sit on my human, do some more barking, sleep, kill a plushie, play fetch, get taken for a walk, sleep more, bark more, eat and sleep again.  I should get started on these things as it is already late in the morning.  But first I must drink the cup of tea my human has left unattended on the table.  She really should know better

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theloldog: (Default)

March 2010


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Being a dog has its disadvantages. For instance, I have neither prehensile fingers nor opposeable thumbs. Because of this, this journal is ghost written by a human. She is my human, you can not have her.

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