theloldog: (Default)
[personal profile] theloldog
It has happened. The Other Human has begun his reforms. He appeared out of nowhere and began to change things. This does not make me happy.

This is how it was: my human and I were sleeping on the awesome couch, under blankets, near the large heater. This was a good arrangement. I approved. Before that, the human was sleeping on a mattress on the floor in the bedroom, but it was a Bad Mattress, and it broke her back. The couch did not, so it made more sense for her to sleep there.

Then the Other Human showed up, and, with two Other Other Humans, brought in a new bed. It was clear to me that this was Phase 1 of the "Badger can't sleep in the bed" reform. I knew this because the Other Other Humans who brought the bed did not also bring steps or a ramp to help me get on to the bed. If I can not get on the bed, then I can not sleep in it. Hence the assumption that this is part of the Other Human's mad scheme to change The Way Things Are.

What the other human does not realise is that his plan failed at conception.

Being a dachshund, I flollop. This is because I am a distant relative of the Mattress. The way in which we are related is that we are both springy. I am springy enough to jump from the ground on to the bed. Therefore, if I am in the bedroom, I can not be kept off the bed. And this bed is not particularly high off the ground, anyway. I do not even have to employ my Mighty Leap to get on to it! (I have to use my Mighty Leap to get on to such things as the dining table.)

The Other Human clearly did not think this through. This does not bode well for his other reforms, but it does bode well for the Status Quo.
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theloldog: (Default)

March 2010


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Being a dog has its disadvantages. For instance, I have neither prehensile fingers nor opposeable thumbs. Because of this, this journal is ghost written by a human. She is my human, you can not have her.

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