theloldog: (Default)
[personal profile] theloldog
My humans would like you all to know that they have a 'hoose for the hoond'. I have determined that the 'hoond' is, in fact, me. So I have a hoose. I have never had a hoose before, so I am not sure what it is.

It is relevant to my interests to find out exactly what is a hoose, as it will be hard for me to appreciate having one if I do not understand what it is for.

These things I know about the hoose:

1)It has an outside. In fact, it has an outside in the front, and an outside in the back. These outsides are enclosed by fences. Therefore I can footle and flollop in safety, and this outside will be mine entirely so I will not have to share it with other, bigger, hoonds. My humans took me to flollop in the outside of the hoose this evening. There were interesting smells and other hoonds that I could talk to but could not see, and there were shrubberies.

2)There is a park near the hoose. I also flolloped around the park this evening. It is a Place Where Dogs Run Free, so I can Socialise with other hoonds, with supervision.

3)The humans are very happy about the hoose. They keep talking about Space, and Location. I gather, though, that the most important feature of this hoose is that it is Suitable for me. I know that this is the most important feature because, as the only genuine hoond, I am the most important member of the pack.

4) I was instrumental in obtaining this hoose. My resume and references were submitted to the owner of the hoose, along with a photo of me (looking rather dashing, even if I do say so myself). My resume is impressive. I have two obedience training diplomas and a certificate from a private trainer, a reference from a canine behaviourist, and a character reference from [livejournal.com profile] earthnative. I am given to understand that some hoose owners do not want hoonds in their hooses, but with my Credentials I was able to persuade the hoose owner to give us the hoose.

I have not been into the inside of the hoose, but the humans can't go into the hoose until the 8th of January. It is Vacant, but it is not OUR hoose until then.

I think that having a hoose is a Good Thing, and as such I approve of it.

FYI

on 2009-12-24 11:05 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] subtle-eye.livejournal.com
the picture referred to above is ...

Could you say no to this face?

on 2009-12-24 01:19 pm (UTC)
ironed_orchid: pin up girl reading kant (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] ironed_orchid
A hoose with both an inside and an outside is a very good thing.

on 2009-12-24 10:23 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] theloldog.livejournal.com
I agree! When water falls from the sky I much prefer to be inside, because I do not like to be a soggy doggie. For this reason an inside is important.

I also like to sleep in the inside, because it is warmer and I am nearer my humans and there is less chance of sky water falling on me while I am snoozing.

I do not like sky water. Sky water is lava, and it reminds me of the times when the human pours a bucket of water on my head.

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theloldog

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Being a dog has its disadvantages. For instance, I have neither prehensile fingers nor opposeable thumbs. Because of this, this journal is ghost written by a human. She is my human, you can not have her.

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