theloldog: (Default)
I have discovered TRAINs.  This is a term I coined myself.  It is, in fact, an acronym.  TRAIN stands for Travelling Room And Intracity Negotiator.

The TRAIN is a Great Leap Forward with respect to equal rights for humans and me, because I am allowed to use the TRAIN.  I have discovered that the TRAIN is useful for multiplying the number of humans who are paying attention to me at any given time.  While I am on a train, I get bonus attention from other humans in the Travelling Room.

I call it a Travelling Room because to me it looks an awful lot like a Waiting Room (dog doctors have these, and I am not a fan of them when they are obviously a dog doctor Waiting Room, but other types of Waiting Room that are relevant to my interests are acceptable).  Humans enter the Travelling Room, and when it has Negotiated its way to the part of the city in which they wish to be, they leave the Travelling Room.  Hence it is also an Intracity Negotiator.

I also approve of the TRAIN because it takes me to see [personal profile] subtle_eye in the middle of the day, when I usually do not get to see him because on most days he is Gainfully Employed, unlike [profile] miss_terri_girl who is one of the Idle Poor.  When I go on the TRAIN to see [personal profile] subtle_eye , I get a chance to have a City Adwenture.

Cities are awfully big.  I mean really, really, really big.  Not like Canberra, which is not so big compared to a City.  They are loud and there are lots of humans and wheely zoomy things.  If I spend too much time in the City I start to feel like it is All Too Much for me and I need a nap and some chikkin to make up for how it is All Too Much.  But there are parts of the City that I like, because the City, though a lot of it is like a louder dirtier colder Inside, has some patches of Outside where I can flollop and explore and find new humans to meet and things to do.

Today in the City I met a binary bird.  It was made of  black and of white and it swooped me from behind like a coward, so I chased it.  I am at War with binary birds.  Usually I chase the birds and the birds fly away.  The birds do not chase me.  Binary birds do things the wrong way around, and this upsets the Natural Order of Things.  So I have declared War.

I have not declared war on small humans, but they still worry me because I do not understand why they have to be so small at me.  I ask them why they are so small and this frightens them because my Voice is Mighty even though I am small.  What we have here, as a famous human would say, is a Failure to Communicate.

One day I will work out how to communicate with small humans.  It takes longer when they will not stay with me for long enough for me to adjust to their diminutive stature.  My human thinks I need a captive small human to talk to, but does not know where she will find one.  She thinks maybe the Neighbour Who Likes Me (all of the neighbours like me, of course, but this one Likes me, and has offered to go on walks with me) will let me talk to her small human sometimes.

I have had a Very Big Day, so I think it is time for me to curl up on my doona (the human says it is a queen sized doona that I have Appropriated For My Own Purposes without her permission, but I say it is a me-sized doona that is obviously mine).  I do not know what kind of adwenture there will be in store for me tomorrow, but I am sure everyone will be interested.


theloldog: (Default)

March 2010



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Being a dog has its disadvantages. For instance, I have neither prehensile fingers nor opposeable thumbs. Because of this, this journal is ghost written by a human. She is my human, you can not have her.

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